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Bubbles

I need new swimmers. The ones I have are no longer comfortable. Apart from my body now gaining excess flab at a rate of knots not dissimilar to an impending cyclone, I have lost a breast. Not on the bus, not at the beach or left behind on the back of a chair at a restaurant (I miss that jacket) but on the operating table.
Breast Cancer. Bummer.
I never had knock out boobs. You could barely call them boobs. More like good looking nipples on a slightly raised chest muscle. "Arty Boobs" is what my husband calls (called) them. They were never going to sag, or hurt my neck, or get heat rash underneath them. They never made exercise torture.
Mind you they never made boys look, or got me into clubs for free. My boobs were never the focus of discussion and certainly never hurt me physically. Emotionally there was pain. When I was younger I desperately wanted to wear beautiful lingerie, have low cut tops and longed to buy a dress that fitted my voluptuous bum without just gaping and flapping around at the top. I still do. Do you know that when you are overweight with boobs you are boodilicious? But when you are overweight with a flat chest you just have a big bum! Or that is how my mind sees it.

So now I am one-breasted. For the most part I am taking it all in my stride. I am alive, and I feel quite well.....all things considered. So you would think that having no boob on one side and a very small boob on the other would make things easier. I guess it does to a point, but it is not all roses and smiles and carrying on as if nothing had happened. Things twist. Singlets, necklaces and t shirts all end up under your armpit for one and the other bane of my existence is swimwear. I don't want to wear a prosthetic when swimming. I do have one and I strap on my boob from time to time just to make clothes look right. It hurts, its hot, sometimes I get a rash. When I am swimming I want to be free. I don't want to be worried my plastic boob is going to pop out and float around terrifying all and sundry. (They are very life-like) When I wear togs that don't have padding, great pockets of air fill in the space of my missing boob and then come bubbling to the surface. Not a good look. Ever swam next to someone who is producing bubbles in the water? Even with padding sewn in, swimmers suck. I just want to wear stuff that fits my boob side and just fits my flat side. I want to swim with the dolphins and thank the universe for my life. I am not embarrassed by my  lopsidedness, I am happy to be a reminder to self check and be aware. However I want to swim with confidence.

 I am on a quest. I am going to design and produce some dazzling swimwear that fits my uni-boob. I will test these out on myself and on my friend who also has one boob....one big boob. Of course she is not aware that she will be my guinea pig as I have only this second come up with this idea! So stay tuned folks....and watch this space.

Comments

  1. Unknown13 February 2014 at 19:54

    So looking forward to seeing your designer swimwear for "uni-boob" women. I know what a struggle it was for you finding swimwear before your breast removal. xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shavarnia19 February 2014 at 12:45

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Shavarnia20 February 2014 at 09:50

    Go girl.

    ReplyDelete

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