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The Green Door

 
 
You know......, I thought this blog was going to be different. Not this particular one...all of them. When I first started I was going to write about my love with colour, my OBSESSION with Moroccan styling and all things fabric-y and textural. But it's not.
This blog is about me and that's pretty much all. It seems to be an outpouring of my own thoughts to myself, about myself. I'm not sure now if anyone at all is interested in reading this. Why would they be? What is to gain? I'm not sure if it is extremely selfish and egotistical. Not sure.

What I do know is that I started this blog because I wanted to write. Loved to write. Needed to write.
When I'm writing my world makes sense, I feel whole. I would write more often if only I could quiet the doubt. To be honest, and in my very first blog I promised I would be, I am terribly, terribly afraid to share my writing. I am afraid of ridicule. True. Always have been, and  not only when it comes to writing, afraid of ridicule in general. Afraid that someone is saying ....."what the hell is she doing?...how embarrassing for her.....this dribble is so boring.....who does she think she is?" and the big one...."She is not good enough to be a writer!" NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Underlined and emboldened in red. This is why there are many days, sometimes months when I do not blog, I do not journal, I do not embrace the pen or caress the keyboard.  I do, however, every day, have something to say, some observation to share or some personal insight to laugh about publically. But doubt is a powerful master.

Writers write. I would like to make a living from writing. Could I? Who knows? Maybe. I would like to think that my words somehow resonate with others. That out there somewhere is some soul going, "Oh I hear you Sister!" and that somehow I have made someone, laugh or think, or spur themselves into their own personal fight with their own personal demons.

Am I good enough? I have to believe I am. As a writer, as a human, as a divine spirit.
I am standing at a door, a beautiful green door, just open it and walk through, I say to myself...be a writer, writers write.....

To be continued...........................................

Comments

  1. All Things Sorted27 November 2014 at 21:43

    I enjoy your writing - it is beautiful, sincere, funny and most of all honest. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete

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