Muzu Creative

I've been giving myself some space. Room to move, to breathe, to decompress. I've been giving my mind freedom. Freedom from sorting, sifting, planning, creating...controlling. I've been letting go, exhaling, softening...giving up. Yes, giving up. What do I know about anything? Nothing. Out of that space has come forward a torrent of emotion, odd feelings, random thoughts and an overwhelming uncomfortable tiredness.  I had no idea that I would feel this way. Out of that space my self belief has been challenged, my purpose shrouded in doubt and many questions have arisen. There are so many things I can do, so many things I can be.  I have been bombarded with an outpouring of ideas. I can barely keep up with them. Ideas about my writing, ideas about other creative pursuits and ideas about my purpose. Usually this would see me planning, preparing and devising ways of executing these ideas, but I have just let them be....in the space ...with me. Which ones are...

How is it, that strolling along on our perfect peaceful path, is so much harder than trekking backwards, uphill, blindfolded and in the rain, on some random track to nowhere?? How is it, that we know exactly what to do...but do the opposite? Why do we choose to struggle, push, and deny ourselves the simple truth of who we are? When did we decide that who we really are is not enough, not valuable and is worthless.? Worth less. When I am travelling in the right direction - my direction, I am so happy! When I am happy, I am so giving, so creative, so loving. Anything and everything is possible. Everyone I meet is an opportunity for me to share my joy, my knowledge, my heart. So why is it so hard to stay there. Why do I wander into fear, distrust and such smallness. How come I can bear down, push hard, toughen up and clench my way through self destructive jobs, self created poverty and self abusive inner talk and turn away from my light, love and freedom? Shou...

I have come to the realisation that I just don't have time to do all the things I want to do. Just don't. I have kept up a mantra " I make time to do what I love", only I love ....a great many things and it would appear that there are just not enough hours in the day. I have also come to the realisation that I simply cannot do all the things I love right now, in each and every day and that it is perfectly ok. Perfectly O.K. I have an old tape recording running in my head that tells me if I don't fit all the things I love into any given day, then I have somehow failed in living my life fully. Failed to embrace the opportunities given, failed to organise my time, my headspace, my world. Failed.  Thankfully, the cellulose is wearing thin and the voice is fading....not even audible in some places. Here is a list of some (and I mean some) of the things I have attempted to achieve each day : Meditate at first light. Write in my journal before breakfast (af...

There have been times when I have said to my son...."Don't Stare! People don't like that....you wouldn't like it would you?" And in true Aspergers style he has responded " I don't care if people stare at me. Why is looking at someone offensive?" Well, today I was the one staring. As I strode along the beachfront this morning, music pumping in my ears, sun on my back, I couldn't help but stare. The 5k walk is a popular one, total beachfront all the way and we are talking about the Southern end of the Gold Coast, so it is spectacular to say the least. Today everyone had the same idea. All the New Years resolutions were at play......joggers were jogging, walkers walking, some attached to four legged friends, some attached to pedometers, FitBits or their walking buddies. Al Fresco fitness groups were throwing ridiculously over sized ropes around, Tai Chi-ers Tai Chi-ing, and casual bikers were meandering along helmet-less and carefree. Tired ya...

I am soooooo excited!!! So excited that my hands tremble as I try to type these words. I feel on the brink of something huge, something so blessed and positive that I struggle to keep from giggling and clapping  my hands. On the beach, I feel like Jetstar jumping, cartwheeling and screaming with joy into the face of the ocean. I have a permanent smile on my face, even when, in some circumstances, my smile has no right to be there. I can't stop this feeling of pure excitement permeating every moment of every day. So by now I'm sure you are all dying for me to tell you why I am so excited. What's this big news, what has got this mad woman in such a tiz. Well.......truthfully.......I have no idea!!  I just feel excited ! I have been feeling this way for sometime now. I wondered if  perhaps it was the onset of Christmas and thoughts of being with my family and friends, free from work commitments, schedules and routines. However, here we ...