Well, today I was the one staring.
As I strode along the beachfront this morning, music pumping in my ears, sun on my back, I couldn't help but stare. The 5k walk is a popular one, total beachfront all the way and we are talking about the Southern end of the Gold Coast, so it is spectacular to say the least. Today everyone had the same idea. All the New Years resolutions were at play......joggers were jogging, walkers walking, some attached to four legged friends, some attached to pedometers, FitBits or their walking buddies. Al Fresco fitness groups were throwing ridiculously over sized ropes around, Tai Chi-ers Tai Chi-ing, and casual bikers were meandering along helmet-less and carefree. Tired yawning mums and dads pushed strollers with finally sleeping infants onboard, while older kids scooted, skated and cycled, albeit dangerously, amongst the throng. All at 6.30 in the morning!!!!!!
And I was staring as I walked. I stared at boobs and bellies and legs. All shapes, all sizes. I stared at jewellery, hairstyles, and clothes. Blatantly, boldly, inquisitively, unashamedly.
And I wondered what other people, especially women, thought of my observing them.
Until very recently, I had voice inside my head that kept me up to speed with what EVERYONE who passed me thought....about me. If they should happen to glance my way it was to notice how big my bum was. It was to recognise that I was not fit...had no boobs....looked crap in what I was wearing....had a badly behaved dog....Oh my god!...it just went on and on. It was exhausting.
Today I saw fantastic, fabulous women! My internal dialogue while seeing these women went something like this.........Wow, I love that necklace. I wonder where she got it?.....Look at her go...I wonder what it feels like to be THAT fit?.....They're great boobs......Look at that woman walking in this heat and struggling and her friend egging her on. I could run up to her, kiss her on the cheek and shout GO GIRL!!!...Cute dog....Hmmm nice body Mr,.....Love that top.....Oh to be young again.....I'll be that awesome when I'm her age.....You better watch your kid, sister, he's heading for the water......
So why did I spend a lifetime presuming everyone else was thinking anything different about me? And why is it a crime to look at anyone for any length of time?
It all comes down to what you think about yourself. There isn't a person out there who can affect who you are and what you think about your-self by simply looking at you. Their thoughts are their own. What other people think of us is none of our business!
I know that I am not the only one who has been tormented by this negative internal dialogue. We just have to stop presuming we know what is being thought by others and focus on creating our own positive thoughts about ourselves.
This morning someone stared blatantly at me as I passed them. "Yeah baby" I thought to myself..."You got that right. I'm rocking it!"
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