Lessons

 

Do you remember the George Benson song “Greatest Love of All”?  The lyrics begin with “I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way…….”

Well, when my son was born I was determined to raise him to embody all that this song described. I would show him all the beauty he possessed inside, teach him to have a sense of pride and dignity. I would teach him to trust himself, his gut and his choices and to go forth in the world with kindness, strength and faith.

Of course, that was all good in theory!

My son is now in love and at eighteen it is an all-encompassing thing. I fear that any sense of pride and dignity he may have had, has flown out the window, as he pines away the hours that he is not at his love’s side. A recent conversation about their “sleeping over” and my opposition to the idea, led to a heated argument, resulting in my regurgitating reasoning from my grandmother’s era and him screaming that it was so unfair and that I was being archaic.

Of course I was being archaic, but that was not the point.

The point was that I wasn’t sure if he was ready for ... well, everything! Had I taught him all he needed to know to be an independent person in this world?

How do we know when our job of teaching our children is complete? Have we shown them, taught them and prepared them well enough? Did they comprehend it all? Will they apply any of it?

 

As we see them taking their first tentative steps into the ‘real world’, we fall victim to our fears and to the memories of our own youth. We remember our mistakes, our heartaches and our poor choices and we can’t stand the thought of them going through the same experiences.

The reality is that our teenagers will make mistakes, their hearts will break and they will make poor choices. This is unavoidable. This is life. However, …

If we have spent the time talking to our children, showing them what remarkable beings they are. If we have given them a sense of pride and dignity and taught them to walk with courage and passion and honesty. If we have encouraged them to always choose kindness over judgement and gratitude over selfishness and if we have shown them that with faith, love and self-belief all things are possible, then surely we have provided them with the tools to become beautiful people.

Although somewhat resistant to his coming of age, I feel I have done what I set out to do. There will always be pearls of wisdom for me to pass on but for right now he is equipped. My son will make his own way in the world armed with teenage eagerness and invincibility. I will remain his teacher – only keeping a low profile in the background, tool kit in hand, ready to glue anything broken back together again. I guess school is out, time to move on.