Muzu Creative

Lately I have been back to the Breast Surgeons rooms. Two surgeons operate from this office. A beautiful place on the top floor with an outlook that stretches over lovely gardens, an impressive fountain, all the way out to the ocean. The waiting room is packed. Every seat taken. Mostly women, with the occasional man, looking incredibly uncomfortable, with nothing but women's magazines to distract him from why he is there. I look around at all the faces. Which ones are here for the first time? I'm now an old hand so I can tell. The newbies are ones who cannot make eye contact with you. They stare at the floor, or at their phones, some turn pages of the glossy mags that feature beautiful two breasted women. However they don't see the pages, their phones or the floor. They can't hear the mumbles of their support team, those who have offered to be there, to hold their hand, to drive them home...after. They clutch at their X Rays, Mammograms and MRI's with every ...

My son is sixteen. He will be seventeen on Christmas Day. For years now I have been endeavouring to in still the message of selflessness, however, he is sixteen, a boy and I feel the message has been lost on him. These days our conversations revolve around what he wants...."can you buy me this can you take me here" and what sucks. Cleaning his room sucks, bringing in the washing for me, sucks, having a shower, taking out the rubbish and walking the dog...all suck. Needless to say I had all but given up on his ever seeing outside of himself. Two events have changed everything. First a car accident. Thankfully we were not involved but it did happen right in front of us. I didn't see it at first as it was across the road from where were driving, but Cooper did. "Mum!!" he screamed, "pull over pull over, someone just crashed!" I diabolically veered onto a medium strip and before I could stop him he was out of the car and bolting across four lanes ...

    Life. Life loves to pitch the curve ball. You're standing at the base plate, the ball has left the pitcher's hand, you know it's coming for you, straight for you, you brace yourself, take a breath in......but then, the curve. Sometimes the curve is slight, you can still see the ball's trajectory, so you adjust your stance, quickly think of a new approach and prepare to hit it out of the park. More often than not, the ball completely disappears from sight.   When that happens watch out!   You relax, you drop your guard. No need to panic, there is no immediate threat, no impending danger, everything is as it was before the ball left the pitcher's hand. Yes, the ball is still out there, hurtling through time and space, however you can't see it anymore. Out of sight out of mind, right? Eventually you forget about it and carry on your merry way, until one day it shows up again and smacks you in fair in the face.   ...

    You know......, I thought this blog was going to be different. Not this particular one...all of them. When I first started I was going to write about my love with colour, my OBSESSION with Moroccan styling and all things fabric-y and textural. But it's not. This blog is about me and that's pretty much all. It seems to be an outpouring of my own thoughts to myself, about myself. I'm not sure now if anyone at all is interested in reading this. Why would they be? What is to gain? I'm not sure if it is extremely selfish and egotistical. Not sure. What I do know is that I started this blog because I wanted to write. Loved to write. Needed to write. When I'm writing my world makes sense, I feel whole. I would write more often if only I could quiet the doubt. To be honest, and in my very first blog I promised I would be, I am terribly, terribly afraid to share my writing. I am afraid of ridicule. True. Always have been, and  not only when it comes to writing, a...

Twenty years ago I asked my future husband out on a date. A group of us were going to a club and after a very serious campaign by my cousins, I nervously asked him to join us. The rest, as they say, is history. Since that fateful Saturday night in June 1994, my husband and I have not been apart for longer than five days - and that has only happened twice! I remember very early on in the relationship thinking to myself that this was too good to be true and I actually had a small fling just to test the waters. Talk about self sabotage! Luckily I saw sense and in a few short weeks, nine I think it was, he proposed. A whirl wind romance. I doubted that he could keep up the constant adoration, the constant loving touch, the willingness to fulfil my every desire. He of course told me straight out that this was the way he rolled and that nothing would ever change. So has it? Sometimes I find myself pushing him away. "For Gods Sake" I exclaim,"can I just walk past withou...

I'm sick. Toxic they tell me. A bit like the 12 step programs, owning up to it is the first step to recovery. My name is Den and I am toxic. I have been sick for so long that I don't know how it feels to be well. This is what I am being told. I am also being told that my digestive system, in its entirety, is not working. I am not receiving enough nutrients from food, my liver is compromised my bowel dysfunctional and this has all been this way probably since childhood. Oh and I am completely stressed and my adrenal system is flat and barely giving me the energy to perform any normal activity - such as going to work, cleaning the house, singing, walking...being. But wait..!I cry. That's not possible. I am the healthy one, I am the one that knows all about nutrition and what the body needs, how can this be? I am the one that really does have AFD's (Alcohol Free Days) Five out of seven in fact. Two glasses of wine, two nights a week cant be bad for me. I am the one who ...

A nice cup of tea. That's what I need. Today I have promised myself that I will not do anything physically challenging or mentally challenging. I will just relax, flop around the house in my PJ's, not clean, not even wipe. Read a book or even just flick through a mag, sit in the garden, drink tea. So far I have done 3 loads of washing, splashed some bleach around the bathrooms, stripped the sheets off the beds, folded washing, checked emails, worried about money, my weight, my neck pain, my weight, my weight...oh did I mention my weight. I have also just wandered around the house, aimlessly. A nice cup of tea....and read a book. Yes, that was the plan. So I put the jug on, prepare the tea. A little biscuit would be nice. And then it begins....the inner dialogue. "You cant have that!, Too many carbs, too much sugar, artificial additives! What about your weight? " I don't really eat biscuits, but sometimes its just nice. Makes a bit of a ceremony of the whole ...